The Gray Area That is Love
by evilRevan
Summary: Sometimes Love isn't black and white and when two people who aren't used to the gray have a tough time admitting their love for the other. It's tough being in love. GarrusXFem!Shepard  *Oneshot*


_**The Gray Area That is Love**_

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A bright blue light illuminated everything, two people being the most obvious with only the blue light showing every aspect of themselves. How things got to the way things were, the male didn't know.

"Shepard?" A firm male voice broke through the silence, gurgling of the bright fish tank followed soon after, echoing inside the rather spacious quarters. The _commander's _quarters no less. Blue eyes met a pair of oddly and unnatural colored eyes. Dark blue rims on the outside, green and blue flecks near the middle. Entrancing, dangerous, cold, and full of everything that made a human what it was.

A young redhead female sat upon a chair, a thin golden eyebrow up, awaiting a response from _her_ friend, a friend that was a _male_ Turian. With a sigh, Garrus closed his eyes, grey-green eyelids covering his solid blue eyes. As a moment or two passed, that rather large Turian opened his eyes, his blue scanner humming ever so slightly.

"Are you alright?" His voice filled with concern even though he had no right to ask her how she was feeling. This _redhead_, this _human_ woman, was his commander and one he hadn't seen for nearly two years since her death due to a Collector attack.

With those concerned words uttered, Amaya Shepard pulled her lips tightly together. Back leaning against her chair that was stationed at her desk.

A pale ghostly white hand was placed on her forehead, eyes swimming between so many different emotions all at once. This was one rare moment the commander let her guard down, a moment Shepard allowed Garrus to see.

Taking a moment to observe his tormented commander, the Turian recognized that the Cerberus organization did a damn good job making her look like she did before she died. Pale skin that was unnatural, a condition, as she explained, was caused by her red hair. From what he knew about humans was red hair was a mutation, an abnormality. Thanks to the red hair, Amaya's skin never tanned and only burned as it couldn't cope with sunlight. She was fragile like most of her species. But at the same time, the best damn warrior he ever had the chance to meet. If there was anyone he'd give his life for, it was her.

Blood red bangs fell over oddly colored blue green eyes. Pale pink lips pulled to the point of breaking the delicate flesh. In just seconds, his commander, a war hero, was crying. She wasn't making a sound but there was evidence she was. Solid blue eyes picked up the water flooding the rims of her eyes, glazed and filled with sorrow, pain, and anger.

It took so much control for the Turian not to cross the line and actually hug her. Or at least, do something that went over the boundaries of commander and comrade. "Fuck…" Garrus perked up a bit, focusing even more on his commander with that single word. Amaya's voice was strained, struggling not to crack with everything she was feeling.

In a way, he felt sorry for her. This human had the weight of everything on her shoulders. Being dead for two years didn't help. She wasn't human, or at least in the eyes of her own species. This crying woman was a cyborg, one that knew how to use a shotgun and biotics. She had been tossed aside by the council, harshly told she was nothing more than a traitor by one of her former crewmates, didn't have the support or many familiar faces she did so many years ago, and above all else had to remember everything that happened before she died. If anything losing Ashley was the hardest blow she ever took. Or the only one he knew of.

Garrus knowing her the best as well as knew she was stubborn as all hell. She wouldn't let anyone know what she felt, bottling everything up until she cried it out by herself. Shephard wasn't invincible… she was merely human. A woman who couldn't handle everything by herself even if she made it seem she could.

Salt filled his nose, Shepard's tears overpowering inside this rather spacious room. If anything, he wasn't sure if the strong odor was from the blue fish tank or from the woman infront of him. Cautiously and carefully, the male Turian approached the young female. A wrong move would make her shift into her hardened commander mask. Right now… she was just Amaya Shepard. The person she was long before joining the Alliance.

Three taloned claws rested gently on a clothed shoulder, three claws carefully avoiding ripping anything. There was a sudden shiver that ran up through his plated arm, one that signaled she wasn't accustomed to the possibly change in temperature. Just with his scaled hand he felt how very cold her skin was compared to himself, another abnormality that occurred due to her pale skin. It didn't circulate heat very well.

"Shepard, you know damn well you aren't alone here. Everyone here is behind you one hundred percent. If someone says otherwise, I'll be the one to fill them with a round of bullets." Slowly the tears stopped flowing, pale lips forming what was a smirk of some kind.

Unconsciously the redhead brought a hand up, skin touching the rugged scales of her teammate's three fingered hand. Just the feel of it was alien yet it felt like the greatest thing in the world right now. Through the thick skin, the drastic difference between their temperatures could be felt. "Thank you… Garrus." She said softly, struggling to control her swirling emotions. Somehow however, just showing she wasn't invincible; to let out everything she bottled up felt great. Well… when it was Garrus she was pouring her emotions out on.

"Anytime, Amaya." He answered back, knowing he didn't need to say anything. But what made the redhead smile even more was the fact he wasn't afraid to use her first name. Sure the she was the commander here, but Garrus cared little for that. He held her in high respects, cared for her well being; hell even pulled her out of gunfire. Her Turian teammate was someone she could lean on. Then it hit her…

Every time he was around, every time he spoke her first name, when they first meet, the joy she felt when she saw he was archangel, the pain of seeing him hurt; his own blood pooling under him.

Commander Amaya Shephard realized she _loved_ him.

No doubt this was considered a horrifying thing to most people, Turian and a human relationship. But when the hell did she follow things by the books?

Very slowly, blue green eyes met solid blue eyes. Tenderness filling those oddly colored foreign eyes. Tears were all dried up, a new feeling breaking through. One the young commander had never understood until this very moment. "Garrus… I…" A blue sphere popped up, moving and facing the two, Garrus, unaware of everything since his back was facing the AI.

"Commander Shephard, I apologize for interrupting but Mr. Moreau has requested your assistance." Garrus has moved rapidly away from the commander, mandibles pulled tightly to his mouth as they ever could be. From where Amaya was, she could tell the Turian was glaring at the AI. "EDI! I didn't say right this second!" Joker's voice could be heard from the comm, increasing the slight hilarity of this moment. "You said you needed her to check the systems soon. Hence why now would be a good time."

The corners of Shepard's lips moved up, a genuine smile plastered on her face. Then came the startling thing, Amaya Shepard laughed all of sudden. It wasn't faked like she had been doing since Horizon. No, it was just as genuine as her smile that was still on her pale face.

"Shepard?" Joker's voice broke through the comm system, uncertainty leaking out his voice. Shepard's laugh ebbed away slowly, gaining control of her outburst. "I'm alright Joker. I'll meet you in the cockpit right away." She assured him, a cheerful tone in her soft gentle voice. It was such a clear contrast to the tone she had used these past few weeks. It was reassuring to know their Commander Shepard was back.

"Alright. EDI if she becomes a psycho like Jack I'm blaming you." Joker teased, pulling his commander's leg like normal. But again, there was some relief in his voice just like Garrus' stance and body language. Without a word the comm shut off, Shepard getting her rear end up off her chair.

Garrus shook his head, a habit he picked up from being on a human ship. But once the blue sphere that was the ship's AI was gone, the Turian looked back at his commander who was on her feet, Cerberus insignia blatantly obvious on her uniform.

"Sure as hell hope you don't end up like Jack. I don't like the idea of getting _hit_ with any of _your _biotics." Amaya smiled at his harmless little joke, not taking offense to it at all. After all, she knew when he was being serious or just comical. Right now it was the latter. A chuckle was what the male Turian in the blue armor got in return.

Silence ensued between the two of them, unsure of what to say to other at this point in time. Garrus shifted slightly on one of his legs, mandibles moving slightly in nervousness. "Well… I best go see what Joker wants." Amaya mumbled voice quiet as the hum of the filter in the luminescent fish tank. The commander started for the door, the direction of where her friend, Garrus was.

Facing off against Saren, the geth, and now the collectors the commander could handle fights. But personal things, those were gray areas. Like Garrus she didn't know what to do with the gray. But as she got to Garrus her body momentarily stopped.

Blue green eyes met cobalt blue eyes. Silence once again took over. Two people shaped and made by everything around them ironically couldn't speak their minds when it came to things relating about love or intimacy. Didn't help Shepard wasn't a woman who knew anything about holding a relationship, or better yet, had one. But one of them had to start talking…

And that person was Amaya Shepard, Garrus Vakarian's commander two years ago and now. A sigh slipped past pale lips as blue green eyes flashed with nervousness. "Thank you Garrus." Were the sincere words that slipped out. They weren't the ones she wanted to say but it was something to break the tension in the air.

Garrus nodded at his commander, hands behind his back in a military stance. One that helped hide his nervousness. "I told you I'd go through hell with you; I'm not abandoning you now or ever. We still have a mission to do, just like two years ago with Saren and the Reapers." He stated as if this was fact. To him it probably was. Amaya's blue green eyes flashed with some amusement.

"Can you take the heat that hell will have? After all, you took a nasty hit with a missile and now look at you." She teased, knowing she was being playful and so did he. The Turian shrugged three fingered hands now at his sides. A sign of him getting comfortable finally. His mandibles fluttered a bit, a way he expressed a chuckle. "Very funny Shepard. But I'm pretty sure I can handle it, after all I'm too damn stylish to die." He paused for a moment, considering something inside that head of his. "At least not until we blow the collector base sky high."

Amaya found herself laughing again, the painful memories washing away steadily. The feeling of contentment, happiness, and most importantly,

The feeling of having a friend who looked out for her.

Once the laughter died she smiled up at her most trusted friend on this ship, besides Tali that is. "Oh we'll give them hell for sure." She said with a smugness that even Garrus had to admire. There was a chuckle, or at least something similar to what humans called such a thing, coming from her Turian friend and possibly love interest. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Amaya." With that he took his leave, grateful his efforts at easing her mind helped and restored the Shepard her knew and admired.

But before he could even get to the door her voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Garrus… After I have a chat with Joker, would you be free. You know… just to talk." She was fumbling. That much the male Turian could pick up from her voice. Turning around, cobalt blue eyes once again looked at his commander, picking up every sign her body language gave off. Blue green eyes looking to the side, lips pulled tight, hands behind her back, possibly fingers fiddling with one another.

Yet he didn't dare say a thing. He couldn't assume anything anymore. Deep in his head he wanted to be more than friends with Shepard. But that was overstepping so many boundaries. Even now he wasn't sure if what he had in mind would scare her off or ruin what they had already.

Love was a leap… a leap with so much on the line should they fall into the abyss. But even now he couldn't say no to his commander, the woman he admired and loved. No, he couldn't do that. Not now and not ever.

Moving his uninjured and injured mandibles he tried to give what humans would consider a smile, a smile for her only. "Do you even need to ask, commander? If you need anything I'll be there for you." And without another word from Shepard to send things out of control, the Turian left without anything else to say.

For the two of them, the unspoken need was there. The two of them loved one another to the point they were reading it in one another. It was just a matter of preparing for the leap from friendship to something much more and screwing the repercussions that came after.

The Turian had made up his mind. Screw the views of others should anything actually develop. But what he couldn't do was mess up Amaya Shepard's life. Should she love someone else, it would be best to stay out of it. Assuming she loved him or had any feelings for himself would make things worse on the two of them. No… he couldn't tell her. At least not until he was sure he wasn't just seeing what he wanted to see.

Commander Amaya Shepard was alive… that was good enough for now.

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**_Should be studying for my finals this week but I couldn't. As you can tell I love GarrusXFem!Shepard so very much. I was so disappointed when he wasn't a romance option in ME but ME 2 made up for it. Can't believe I spent all the time I did on that game. I can't draw nor can I write some fantastically detailed stories, but I did want to show my support for Garrus and Shepard._**

**_Garrus is adorable and more so when you confront him about the whole "blowing off steam" thing. I don't mind the scars since he's still Garrus in all his shining glory._**


End file.
